I’m having trouble getting past Chapter Two in my book. Self doubt and negativity have been creeping in. I have written pages and pages, and created various scenes only to cut them. I can recall one of my graduate school professors saying to me, “I don’t know how you made it this far,” when referring to my writing skills. If I could get out of my own way I know I could create something beautiful.
I cut the bit below and decided I would share. I welcomed feedback and constructive criticism; keyword CONSTRUCTIVE! No one has read anything I’ve written in my book or provided any help with editing so please keep that in mind and be gentle with me!
Julian looked into Moons eyes and could tell that he was making her nervous. This was only their first date and he wasn’t quite sure if he should kiss her. By the way she looked at him he could tell that she wanted him to. He decided to tease her a bit. He slowly moved in and watched her close her eyes. He smiled as he planted a kiss on her check and said, “We have to do this again sometime.”
Why would he play like that? Moon wasn’t sure how she felt as she watched him walk toward his car. She was still trying to catch her breath and was hoping she didn’t make too much of a fool of herself. Julian standing so close to her made her stomach tie in knots. It also made her acutely aware of how bad she had to pee. At times like that she hated that being nervous made her bladder tie in knots as well.
She walked back in the restaurant to use the restroom and was surprised to see that he had waited for her. “You came back to get your kiss I see,” she playfully exclaimed.
Her remark made him smile. She was definitely feeling him, but he decided to play it cool. “No, I’m just trying to make sure you get to your car safely,” he smirked.
He examined her profile. She truly was supple and divine. Her white dress hung to her body and accentuated all the right places. He stopped looking her over after he caught the seductive look in her eye. This sister knew she was fine. Black women typically weren’t his type, but he knew he’d make an exception for her the moment he laid eyes on her. It had also helped that Kyle had vouched for her.
Moon broke his thoughts when she said, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He knew what she was talking about but asked, “Like what?”
“I think you know that you make me nervous and enjoy teasing me without saying a word,” she replied.
He stepped closer to her and slipped his had in the cup of her back and heard her gently gasp. He smiled and leaned into her and whispered in her ear, “Well I guess I better let you go. I don’t want to make you too nervous on our first date.”
He laughed as he stepped back. Moon caught his eyes for a few second. His eyes made her the most nervous. He had the most beautifully alluring almond shaped eyes that seemed to be looking into her deepest thoughts. No one had ever looked at her and made her want to squirm the way he did. She couldn’t really pinpoint what that nervous feeling was or if it was good or bad, but she decided she wanted to find out.
He looked back at her wondering what she was thinking. She had kept the conversation very causal unlike their first meeting . “Babygirl!”
Him calling her that made the corner of her lips turn up in the goofiest, yet, somehow still sexy smile. He’d noted that she was a bit of a free and goofy spirit through their date and he’d enjoyed it.
Moon was happy he didn’t seem to notice the goosebumps that simple statement gave her. She looked at his lips and bit her bottom lip. Man did he have nice juicy lips. She wondered what they would feel like on hers. He must have been reading her mind, or the lip biting gave it away.
“I think I’d better let you go,” he said more for his benefit than hers. Seeing her biting her lip like that had him wondering if the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice was a true statement.
He opened her car door for her and made sure to get a final look at her ample behind. Man I have to take my time with this one, he thought.
He kept it cool, “Let me know when you get home babygirl.”
He noticed that she bit her lip again at the mention of babygirl. As much as he seemed to make her nervous she had an equally endearing affect on him. He was thinking about having a serious relationship with her after one date and already couldn’t wait to see her again.