Mental Health

Here’s a blog post I wrote pre-pregnancy and baby but I thought I’d still share it. Someone may need to hear this!

I read something the other day that perfectly described what a lot of us are going through in our late twenties and early thirties. The tweet described these years as the soul crushing years, and in so many ways that is true. The tweet went on to say how most people in this age group are struggling to cope with life changes. Our group of friends is getting smaller, our parents are getting older, and in addition to dealing with that we are dealing with financial messes we created in our early twenties. Many of us are also trying to juggle our new careers, marriage, babies, and our mental and physical health.

“We often are tired, not because we’ve done too much, but because we’ve done too little of what sparks a light in us.”

Alexander Den Heijer

Transitioning form graduate school to working full time was the hardest for me. By the time I entered my career I was my heaviest and was having a hard time motivating myself to get healthy and in shape. This took a toll on my mental health. I would often find myself laying in my room depressed. I wouldn’t go out and if I did it was often to spend money on shoes, makeup, or clothes. I truly believe that everyone at some point in their life deals with some form of depression; the stages after graduate school were definitely mine. I found it hard to cope with these new feeling of stress, depression, and financial instability. I thank God for praying parents, because I often think that if it was not for their prayers and continual love and support I would have sunk deeper into depression. One of the things that really helped me is that my parents instilled in me the love that God has for me and that I could always take things to him in prayer.

Often times we do not want to speak to people about what is going on in our lives because we’re afraid of being judged and find it hard to find someone we can trust. Let’s be real although it may come from a good place often our loved ones can be overly opinionated and judgmental. Even though you may not want to hear it sometimes it’s necessary to listen and process what your loved ones are saying. My mom would often tell me, “Idle hands are the devils playground.” This made me pour a lot more into doing things that I loved. I began to really dabble in makeup, outside activities, and considered taking cosmetology classes. I got out of bed and took more stock in my appearance. I began to make sure that I put more effort into my physical, mental, and emotional health. I started to pamper myself by getting my nails done once a month, keeping my hair done, and often tried to find the cheapest and latest ways to improve my style. I also began to make sure I got out the bed and out the house and tried different activities. I’m sure that my mother meant something more along the lines of community service, but it is hard for someone to be present and help others when they are hurting.

One thing I think that needs to be said is that when you are in a negative or vulnerable space you have to unplug form the matrix. Social media is both a gift and a curse. It’s great for networking and keeping in contact with friends and loved ones, but it also allows an avenue for negative thoughts and people to enter your life. Everything that glitters is not gold and everyone that is smiling in your face is not for you. Time shows peoples true colors and I encourage you to not let negative people and thoughts reside in your life. Social media allows us to see a lot of people’s success but not what it took to get there. With everything there is a process, and everyone’s journey is different.

Ultimately, the most important thing you have to learn during this time of life is how to unwind, relax, and surround yourself with positive and supportive people. You may not have the money to take a trip to Cancun, but you can find a nature trail to hike, kayak, exercise, or travel to interesting locations close to home. This isn’t the time to jump from relationship to relationship. This is the time to continue to get to know yourself and what interest you. Make new friends, enjoy life, explore, save money, but most importantly put God first.

Mental Health Check-in will be a regular segment on the blog. Email me, dm me, or leave me a comment if there is anything you’d like to unload or share. Sometimes just having someone to listen can ease whatever it is your dealing with. Please also take it to God in prayer!